Thoughts 30

Intentions and Actions 3

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In the last post I mentioned anger being painful. I have heard it said that anger comes from fear and it seems to be true to me. If someone pulls a gun on me, I get angry; fight or flight. That is very simple. What about the times I get angry when there is no physical danger to me. Here again I find that the ego-centric reality that I have created for myself is usually if not always the basis for the fear that I have turned into anger.

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There are many ways of expressing anger. Of course getting mad and verbally or physically fighting is one way. Another is to sulk or pout. I have seen people cry when angered. Mentally plotting revenge is a way of hiding the anger while trying to pacify it. There are people who have so much anger and resentment from personal hurt stored inside that trying to feel good about themselves they try to destroy others self worth. I have dubbed them vampire egos; they suck the life vitality from someone close to them. Being hurt is actually a form of being angry. Surely there are many other ways of expressing anger.

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Here, again, I am not an expert, but it seems to me that we have three basic instincts. They are to pass on our genes (reproduce), survival, and gregariousness. Gregariousness may be part of the reproductive instinct and survival. All my actions in life are stimulated from my instincts. If I put too much emphasis on any aspect of my instincts then I am always guarding myself from the possibility of losing something I have, think I have, think I deserve, etc. Included in that would be my social position. Any group of humans has a pecking order. I can feel my social position threatened through material things including the possibility of reproducing, or just words; gossip etc. By way of “too much emphasis” I will be constantly looking at how other people and there acts make me look, feel, what they are doing for me. In other words I am self-centered, ego-centric, so I miss what is really going on around me. I have no humility. I will naturally cause pain without realizing ( noticing) what I am doing. Without consciously realizing it I am doing evil things, because I will not or am incapable of seeing my egocentricity. Deep inside my mind I may know that some of what I am doing is not right; then I live with my pain and will be more likely hurt some else. The reality I have created and live in, is that of a small child before being taught.

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*   images from google images